dear diary

..reality bites and truth hurts..

hell~O.. dear blog, i'm back..=D

got lots to share with u but....it's ok..

my friend had asked me once,"babe, sometimes i was thinking what good is love when it hurt?" and i dont know what the right thing to say at that moment..i just can tersingeh sumbing je..huhu.. and today i'm thinking of the same thing..but i knew there are somethings that do not need explanation when we talk about feeling or emotion. take a bite from it, and chew it then you know how it feel right away..huhu..i guess that would be the best answer for my best friend..

the next thing that keeps hanging to my thought was three 3 words..not 'i love u' for sure, but "clicks,clings,pain"..i just read it in one of my novel(actually i borrowed it from my sis..=D)..the explanation given by the writer somehow matched with what i'm feeling now..the feeling came just like you click a button,and it's clinging there(at your heart) and giving the most painful feeling..i just realized it yesterday when my messages were not reply and i dont know what actually is going on..yeah, some says reality bites and truth hurts..

on the bright side of my gloomy day, i'll get back my car!!!! my sporty morty stylo white baby myVi. i was so happy and cant wait to see her again..i hope it will come true..dh lame giler siot aku x pegang die, smell her...miss her a lot!!!!! huhuhu...ayan semcm je..tp mmg aku syg sgt die..the one and only that officially belongs to me...

bye diary, that's all i wanna share for this moment...

sampai ketemu..(+_+)

@dios!!!

..rindu..

so many stories wanna share..

but i dont feel like sharing any yet..


BUT;

aku rindu bdk2 TESL C2 tramat sgt!!!!!!

bosan weh idup sorang2...

xde org aku nk gaduh...nk kutuk..nk lepak2..nk gosip...

like we used to be...

take care guys!!!

sekian lama

setelah sekian lama....aku kembali menulis...hahahaha...
mcm2 happened since this 2 months...got posted to a "sport" school...being a teacher..adapted to a new environment...woke up early in the morning..and lastly, accident!!!
firstly, my so call "sport" school... iwas posted to SSTBN, Setiu..my first impression was it would be great to teach there..unfortunately, jauh panggang dari api...it was very difficult to get the students to be interested in learning regardless of any subjects..they are too too far behid than others...i pity them actually..however, they are not pity themselves, their objective is only one to excel in sport not in study...personally, my motivation is decreasing from day to day..the only challenge here is students' attitudes..i really have to adapt with it..
secondly, adapting to the new environment. i admit that i feel very lonely without my friends around..no more late night lepaking as "we" used to do..gossiping...assignmentsss...and classes. now, i have to the role model...i have to behave in front of my students as a teacher should be la kan..one more thing, living at home together with family sometimes, get me bored..my activities are limited..no more girls outing like we used to before...no more picnic at lata tembakah..
thirdly, i'm teaching Form Three. just finished marking the trial exam papers..and i'm a bit upset...48 failed..but this is the normal scenario for the school..so, i dont have to be worry i guess..
Now: new life, new job, new character, new car, and NEW ME...
i hope i dont have to be new me for so long...
thats all for this time..looking forward to write more soon...

Biro Tata Negara, Besut

KURSUS KENEGARAAN SASARAN 1
BIRO TATANEGARA, JABATAN PERDANA MENTERI
20-24 JUN 2009
KEM BINA NEGARA, BESUT, TERENGGANU.

PENGHULU: PESERTA KURSUS!!!!

PESERTA: KENEGARAAN!!!!!!!!

dlm kursus ni i'm holding the luckiest number 007..mcm james bond plak..=D

ni schedule kursus yg agak padat tp lepak je sbnrnye..cume kne rush time ldk je coz bilik ldk jauh gaban dr hostel..nk tercabut ankle jln pki heels jauh..so on the 3rd aku bantai pki kasut sukan je..jurulatih pon ckp ok je..hehehe..

ni time dlm hall dgar ceramah psl kerajaan, rakyat,tanah air n kedaulatan..actually time btn ni penggunaan alatn elektronik including camera amat limited..ni curi2 ambik sblm start ceramah..hidup mesti pandai beb!!!

ceramah sgt boring actually..ngantuk bangat!!!

ni time kawad kaki pagi2...xtvt utk setiap pagi is different..ada kawad kaki, buat fitness test n mcm2 lagi..best!!!

ni gmba lps kudapan...kiteorg smpt buat pose sbb dpt kluar mkn awal..=D

ni kt LDK group sanda...dieorg ldk kt bwh pondok yg berangin sepoi2 bahasa..
kem ni sgt nice actually..mcm resort pn ade...

dlm surau..gmba curi jgk..gamba saya n princess syafizZ..ngatuk sbnrnye ni..hehehe..

manohara n princess syafizZ bz duk isi borang penilaian kursus..hehehe..mcm rupe org tgh isi borg nk g umrah pn ade..ngan telekungnye skali..=D berimannya shbt aku dua org ni..

ni discussion ke gosip????? =D

bilik LDK group daku..ade rupa bdk form 6 x??? hehehe..

pantang ade mse trluang mesti nk snapshot.... hehehe..inilh kerja daku..untuk kenangan abadi..

ni group ayu yg kne denda kt group aku..coz dieorg kalah mse main cross n knot..kne wat tugu negara..ni sume hazrina pnye idea..hehehe..pepun, sorry for everything..its just for fun friends..=D

ni group LDK daku..

FIKIRKAN BOLEH!!!

fasilitator: EN. ABD RAZAK

(die ni mmg sporting abis wlpn agak slow motion.)

ni mse nk g antar bedsheet b4 going off to kembara..

kt dining hall..tempat yg mbuatkn daku sgt brselera utk mkn coz lauk2 nye sgt sedap..hehehe..

sume org happy coz dh last day..b4 g kembara..

on top of bukit keluang,besut..

btn mmg best!!! slps mnjalani btn perspektif daku trhadap btn dh brtukar..segala propaganda2 luar xbtol..btn best actually..get to know more people..kerjasama dlm group..n yg plg best were ice breaking n penutup..xtvt abselling, fitness test, halangan n kembara mmg best..yg kureng skit ialah ialah ceramah n LDK coz sgt sleepy while listening to the main agenda of kerajaan a.k.a politic..hehehe...overall best!!!

thanks to all group members, fasilitators, jurulatihsss...and my beloved cohort 2..

KiSSM

sangat syok dpt berkumpul kembali all together Cohort 2...eventhough, induksi ni xde la seghairah mane..just sit n listen to the lectures throughout the days..but we have to be there no matter what..jasad je kt bilik kuliah otak merantau ke alam lain dh..sesi ptg kiteorg mesti seludup pisang goreng n ubi goreng buat jamuan mse lecture..kluar solat lme giler sorg2..kdg2 siap g kafe lepak2 minum air n mkn dulu..hehehehe...syok jgk!! ptg2, aku n ayu abiskn mse tgk bdk2 ni main takrawsblm blk umah tok kt kdi buluh,pcb..skrg dh xleh tgk aksi2 gile dieorg dh..we're seperating on our own ways now...life goes on...miss u all C2!!! keep in touch..

8th JUNE 2009

8th June 2009....nothing special for this date.

However;


REDZ: happy birthday syg..


maui: hepi besday..may Allah bless u


paan boy: hepi birthday bok ti..


mozaiq: hepi besday, blnja ak mkn


mcLin: hepi bufday buddy =D


Ayahanda: Wishing God bless you. Happy birthday kakti!


Laina Sofea: hepi bufday! sweet 24..may Allah bless u always..


aimifera: happy birthday my lovely friend..miss u ct!


Abang: Hepi ari tua dik drpd abang n akak..


pn.masniah & anak2: slmt hari lahir mary..semoga pjg umur, dmurahkn rezeki n cepat2 kawin..luv u so much..take care.


Bonda: Slmt hari lahir Kakti..semoga bertambah amal..


Reeny: happy birthday! may Allah bless u always. bahagia dunia n akhirat. moga bahagia ngan REDZ..=D friend forever..


ayu: hepi birthday awok!


tikah: hepi birthday T!


emah: hepi birthday mary..


dell: hepi birthday T..


awin: hepi birthday mary..


ita: awok!!! hepi birthday!!!


dayah: mary, hepi birthday..


sanda: hepi birthday mekti..


paan girl: hepi birthday T..


kak ina: hepi birthday mary!


farranadia: mary, slmt hari lahir. semoga pjg umur murah rezeki..gembira slalu..n friendship kita kekal yer awak..luv u!


fiza: m8, hepi birthday!!


bard: mary! slamat, slamat!!


fana: hepi birthday mekti..


hazrina: hepi birthday mary!!



thanx so much for the wishes! i really appreaciate it..

trip to Redang

last 30th of may i went to Pulau Redang with my friends (obey,duer,cmah,reeny n adik cmah,lokman) and also with my mom and my sister amanino..initially, we were going to Pulau Redang to attend my bestfriend's wedding, Pn. Noor Azlina Rajab. she was born in Pulau Redang and had her early education at Sekolah Rendah Pulau Redang before we met at SESMA.

due to the very bad wheather, kami bergerak meninggalkan Merang Jetty at 12 o'clock by Redang Teratai ferry..the first two pictures showed that everyone seems very excited. unfortunately, half way je cmah dh xthn dh..she tried to bite the seat to cure her sickness.hehehe..just kidding..tp pity her. i also felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation and praying that it would be a safe journey eventhough ribut menggila..

zillionssss thank you and syukur to Allah The Mighty, we made it..we arrived at the jetty in one piece..hehehe..kecut perut mse journey tu pn dh lenyap gitu je bila nmpk tangga jeti..as we can see below,everyone was so happy..

after that, we went straight to my friend's house coz everybody was hungry. we needed something to eat so badly. from the jetty to perkampungan pulau redang is quite far about 2.3km. so, it was impossible for us to walk with our bags and empty stomach. therefore, my father's friend who is also the local people had waited for us at the jetty in the first place.hehehe..so, we did not have to walk that far. along the road to the perkampungan pulau redang, we saw the new SK Pulau Redang and the teachers' quarters, police station, mosque, Berjaya airport and the people. it was first experience for majority of us..we enjoyed the views.

my friend,Pn. Noor Azlina was married to a Negeri Sembilan guy named Mohd Shah. he was very kind and shy person..=D

after the wedding ceremony, we went to our chalet named Redang Abadi which was so close Berjaya Beach Resort. it was about 5 minutes of leisure walking (meaning melenggang la...huhuhu). after we changed, reeny, cmah,obey,duer,lokman and i went to the beach. it was fantastic! i bet all of people went there would agree with me. the water was crystal clear. however, only Obey went to swim coz he was the only one who wore the right attire for swimming. others were wearing jeans mcm mne nk mandi..hehehehe..including me..

at Berjaya jetty..

kami memasang angan2 dan niat utk kembali ke pantai Berjaya in the next morning with my mom n my sister,amanino..therefore, in order to achieve our main objective for the next morning, we went to sleep very early that night so that, we could wake up early next morning..hehehe...objective achieved for girls coz we managed to be at the beach at 7 o'clock inthe morning..Subhanallah, pagi yg cukup indah buat kami..

kami pun bermandi-manda dengan girang sekali..the water was very clear as we could see our own legs through it. for me, it was just like we were in a gigantic swimming pool.hehehe..we had so much fun there..we took the chance to berkayak ke sekitar pulau and stopped at Teluk Raja. we collected some shores, cmah was the one who was very excited with it..then others followed. =D

31st of may: by 11.30 a.m, after we had our last drinks at the chalet's cafe, we moved to the jetty. its time to say good bye to the island..everyone seemed did not want to go back home. however, life goes on..everybody has their own commitment in their life. Azlina and her husaband, Shah bid adieu to us at the jetty. with a very reluctant feeling , we stepped into Nurul Aman (the boat). the journey back took only 45 minutes..no one had sickness becuase Nurul Aman is a bot laju not a ferry. everything run smoothly on the way back.after having our lunch, we made our own way back to home. during the lunch and on the way back, we had agreed to arrange a proper trip to Redang next time. and i really hope that it will come true because i really looking forward to spend a vacation at any island in Malaysia. Cuti-Cuti Malaysia!!!

on Nurul Aman (the boat)

last but not least, i would like to thanks my mom for her effort to make this trip worked, reeny for travelled so far from KL just to be part of the trip, Cmah for brought along Lokman because he added the colors to our trip, Obey for took MC on Sunday to make this trip more happening with his appreance and Duer for also travelled so far from SM Teknik Chenor right after schooling just to be with us. i really cherish our trip!! u guys mmg best!! =D thanks so much!!

for those yg did not manage to go, dont worry guys!! InsyaAllah, Cmah akan organize our reunion at an island in future.hope everyone can give their cooperation..=D

~waiting for JUNE to say Hi!!~

seriously, i really looking forward to say Hi! to JUNE. tinggal beberapa hari sahaja lagi tp aku mmg excited abis!!! huhuhu..=D
there are few things will happen in JUNE:
FIRTS: beta dgn rasminya akan ber'unite' kembali ngan member tercinta, bdk2 TESL Cohort 2..i miss them so damn much. can't wait to get back together, hug them(for girls only la!) and kecoh2..=D
SECOND: REDZ will come back home for the 2months' holiday in the middle of June..of course i'm happy!! we are planning for our "jln2" this time around..hehe..
THIRD: awal June, umur beta akan brtmbh lgi..but i'm happy with that..=D. hope hadiah2 lumayan menanti..hehe..
so thats all for June...every year i am counting days to meet JUNE..therefore,really hope everything runs smoothly according to the plans..Amin~

++ six years together ++

it has been quite a long time i'm not writing any entry for my dear blog..life gets a bit busy when i get home..hehehe..first of all, i would like to wish "HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY" to all my teachers (from TASKI(ABIM) NURUL HUSNA, SK MENGABANG TELIPOT, SMKA BATU RAKIT, SM SAINS SULTAN MAHMUD @ SESMA) and my lecturers (IPGM KAMPUS KOTA BHARU & FACULTY OF EDUCATION, UiTM SHAH ALAM). without all of u, i would manage to be who i am now. thousand of gratitutes, teachers, madams and sirs!!!

now, i would like to continue writing about the days that we(TESL C2) treasured together before we left our beloved state, KLATE and our 1st REUNION in johor recently.

2nd of may, 2009; 8.30 - 1.00 a.m: at first, we went to the Zon, somewhere in jb. i get bored coz i dont really like shopping..and i dont know what to buy at that time.so, acip,zaiqe and i went out of the building and took some fresh air while having McD ice cream sponsored by Acip..we could see singapore on the other side (the lights from the back of derung&ina's photo). after that we went to Danga Bay(long time not come). just our lucky night coz it was like funfair there. at first, we didnt know what to do there, then dell&fara, fuad&paan boy said that they wanted to do some exercise with the upper rail rolling cycles. afterward, awin suggested that we took the 'blackhole roller coaster'. we had fun by yelling so loud during the coasting.. the next game was nightmare for me. i was scared to death by my fren who was sitting beside me on the 'Pirate Ship'. i was so angry that after get off the ship, that person could yell to other frens down there, "Aku OK!!" then laughed. that person owed much as a life guard.. then, Paan and i agreed to try the 'roundabout car'. it was exciting when it gets faster. we pretend to yell as we scared of the speed but actually it was not that fast as what we expected. but ok la.. the most memorable and unforgetable moment in my life!!!

2nd of may,2009; day time: we started our journey to felda kahang very early in the morning. we stopped at fuad' house first. according to our plan A, we were going to Tanjung Piai(hujung benua asia, derung and i were so excited to step at that place). however, due to the bad weather(it was raining heavily) we had to cancel the plan A. we proceded out way to felda kahang (mun's wedding) and we stopped at the plaza tol and decide to go to Paan girl's house in the Institut Haiwan. it was a very nice house on top of a hill, surrounded by all greens..i like it so much!! then, paan and her brother, nabil led us to felda kahang (bapak jauh giler, ngan corner yg tajam, gerun gak aku time blk mse acip drive..hehehehe). so, below are our pictures at Mun's wedding..

cant really remember the exact date of the night..we went to send ezlan shah who is going back to melaka. it was the last moment with him (sort of la). he cried on that night becoz of leaving his 6years bestfriends as everything was over.. dont worry ezlan, we'll meet again this coming 3rd june for kissm..actually, i didnt expect him to cry that night but tears fell eventhough he walked with his face up.. (+_+)

this night, we had a really long chat and lepak.. everyone seemed like did not want to go back but we had to make a move becoz the shop was going to close in any minute..they had shisha except me, i just cant stand it..we talked about lots of thing. ezlan also had his last show on that night. look what he did in the picture below..it was a great time we had spent together guys..

on the same night, we had kenny's..zaiqe was so kind-hearted that night to treat me. actually we just got our book&ae allowance in the evening.hehehe..dpt jgk mkn free..only few people were able to come becoz most of them had left already. these few people were farra nadia,dell,maya,paan girl,ezita,dayah,sanda,ezlan shah, zaiqe,pen and i. i did enjoyed the eating(tp kurang mengenyangkn)..huhuhu..

we had our last picnic at Lata Tembakah, Besut at 22nd of april..it was ayu's birthday actually..ayu kene tepung ngan pen byk giler..afterward, everyone got excited main tepung except me..hehehe..we had bbq there...mandi-manda smpi ptg..everybody seemed like so reluctant to go back. since we were in the foundation years, this was the place we always had our picnic..it buried lots of our sweet memories as we grown up to be a better teacher. it also Faq's favourite place.. he was the one who would organize the trip. now no more, Lata Tembakah for us..maybe we just can go to the swimming pool after this.. this is also our treasure together, friends!!!

21st of april,2009; 1400hrs: hari yg melakar sejarah buat para pelajar TESL COHORT 2 IPGM KAMPUS KOTA BHARU kerana telah mnduduki peperiksaan terakhir sebagai seorng pelajar. tepat jam 4 ptg mereka telah menamatkn kursus ijazah pendidikan dengan berakhirnya peperiksaan tersebut. it was a release to all of us..finally, we managed to finish this course after struggling so hard for 6 years. everyone in the hall was smiling after the exam..eventhough it was quite a tough exam, no one seemed to care more..yg penting its over now..huhuhu...ms LPG(kesygn L4) was one of the invigilators for the exam (the curly woman collecting the papers). =P

below are the picture of L3, actually our daily classes for this final semester..

1st pict: our last class with mdm TAN SIEW POO, CIE..

2nd pict: presentation CIE (the last one)

3rd pict:normal scenario while presentation is held..

4th pict:signature for the kedtgan book

5th pict: our last presentation for WIL with mr.zul..

6th pict:we wrote our last words in our friends' auto books..

7th pict: its me..picture taken by bard..

8th pict: its time to leave........so long, friends!!!

thats all from me...thank you my friends for these memorable 6 years..

i really appreciate it..

+ THE END +

falling so hard..=(

dear blog (a.k.a "public" diary)

i'm so sad...

things dont really work between us..

two times in a week..

its bloody hell so bad for me..

i'm falling so hard..

i hate to feel this kind of feeling..

i'm really mad but at the same time i'm lost..

i hurt someone and i'm hurt also..

what the hell is this???

**V*

i dont ever think that it would make me hurt this much..

i thought it is a wonderful feeling..

only people who go through it can describe it..

but...i just realized it does not breeze at all time..

there's once it'll bring u down to earth..

and now it was my time to fall down to earth..

and the pain i bet u dont wanna know..

it broke into pieces..till nothing left to feel the pain..

what should i do???

what should i do??

i guess silence might be the key..

remain silence is better than being too vocal..

i might say something crap..

so, silence is the best way..

like someone has told me.."there are certain things words cant tell, we have to understand ourselves"..

"dear GOD The Almighty,

show me the right path that i should take..

if this is the best for me, give courage to endure it all..

i pray for your help.."

::KENANGANKU::

:: i purposely dedicate this post to my beloved friends,


MRS.JOViAL HIKMAH,

MISS ADORABLE AYU,

PRINCESS PINKY DAYAH,

MRS CHARMING LADY FARRA CROFT

::i'm grateful to have u all as my precious treasures::

the first time we met, we were strangers to each other,


not knowing each other and not even ready to know,

and slowly we started off with a simple HI! and a smile =)

as time passed, a formal relationship turned into an informal..

the day is not complete till we talk to each other,

and its such a nice feeling to know that i have all of u who i can trust on..

Thank you for our friendship for it means so much to me,

your kindness and understanding and loving ways you share so free..

Thank u for our friendship, for it means so much to me..

your kindness and understanding, and loving ways you share so free..

Thank you for being by my side..

when i needed someone that cared..

and thank you for all your loyalty in our friendship..

also for the times we shared together..

..thank you for our friendship..

..for it's something not even money can buy..

..thank you for holding me tightly..

..when i merely lose hope..

Thank you for always smiling at me,

When i couldn't smile at all,

and thank you for boosting my ego,

for the times i felt so small..

a friend is someone who knows a song in your heart...

and she can sing it back to you...

when you have forgotten the lines..

my dear tomodachi..

your friendship i cherish so deeply..

so this message i send to you..

may God bless you always..

and may we always remain as friends forever..

no matter where life takes us to..

we will always be friend forever and ever..

luv you all girls..

muah!!!

from,

Mary

(the collector of our friendship's treasures)